Taking It Personally & Competitive Maturity
- Julie Fournier
- Jun 1
- 4 min read
Ball is Psych LVII
“There’s power in anger. But it’s only useful if you know how to carry it.”
— Serena Williams
Intro
On March 28, 1990, early in a road game against the Cleveland Cavaliers, Michael Jordan took a hard foul. He was down for a minute or two, and as he was lying on the court, he could hear the crowd cheering. The crowd was hoping they had caught a big break, and Michael would be sidelined, giving them an easier path to victory. Michael didn’t like that. Instead of getting medical attention, Michael looked over at the Bulls trainer and said, “These people are about to pay for it.”
In what Michael described as being in a controlled rage, he went off for a career-high of 69 points, along with 18 rebounds, 6 assists, and 4 steals. The Bulls won in overtime.
Michael Jordan is often remembered for how intensely competitive he was. But what made him different was not just his competitive intensity but also his competitive maturity. He was different because he was able to channel his anger into a competitive advantage. He was aware enough to recognize his emotions, but instead of being controlled by those emotions, he used them all as motivation.
Reacting vs Responding
There’s a big difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is quick, emotional, automatic, and defensive. It’s when someone hurts you and you want to hurt them back. Or when someone doubts you and you feel the need to insult them back. It’s the cause of most technical and retaliation fouls that can cost you a few points, a possession, or even the game.
Responding takes more awareness. It’s when you feel anger, embarrassment, or rejection, but instead of trying to get rid of it or act on it right away, you let it fuel you in a productive way. You let it focus you. You make a conscious choice about how you’ll channel those emotions and move forward.
Okay, Fine.
One of the best examples of this comes from The Last Dance documentary. Over and over again, you see a pattern: someone disrespects Michael Jordan, or questions him, or beats him once, or doesn’t say hello to him at a restaurant, and Jordan quietly logs it. Whenever he felt slighted, he’d say the same two words:
“Okay, fine.” Which meant he heard you. And now, it was personal.
And not personal in a petty way, but in a focused, deadly, professional way. He didn’t rant about it. He didn’t tweet about it. He didn’t vent to reporters. He responded on the court. With performance. With fire. With punishment for whoever made the mistake of lighting that fire.
Competitive Maturity
Jordan took those bursts of emotion and rerouted them. He stored them, waited, and released them where it mattered most: the game. In a way, he turned everything into fuel. That’s what made him terrifying: he had the emotional sensitivity to feel everything and the mental strength to weaponize it.
We’ve all seen players who are competitive, but emotionally reckless. They argue with refs, get baited into technicals by their opponents, sulk after missed shots or missed calls, and foul out of frustration. Their emotions take the wheel and crash the car.
Real competitiveness, the kind that wins championships requires more than just intensity; it requires maturity. Michael wasn’t just competitive, he was competitively mature. He controlled his emotions without letting them control him.
Competitive maturity is when your emotions are in the back of the car, but you are the one driving. Your emotions should influence your behavior and decision-making, but they don’t need all the control. Competitive maturity is the discipline to respond with more focus on the game, to be in a controlled rage, instead of being distracted by your ego’s immediate need for revenge.
Something To Prove
When Michael Jordan took something personally, it wasn’t just about proving others wrong, it was about proving something to himself. He had a core belief: I am the best. When that belief was challenged, he didn’t doubt himself, he acted in alignment with that belief. He played harder. He pushed further.
When someone doubts you, you don’t need to prove them wrong out of insecurity, you can respond with clarity about who you are and what you’re capable of.
Some would argue that you should spend more time trying to prove those who believe in you right rather than trying to prove the naysayers wrong. I think both can be used as a source of motivation. Michael wasn’t one to ignore the naysayers. He was listening and letting every comment add more fuel to the fire. But he never lost sight that he was playing for the fans. He’s expressed that he felt an obligation to his fans to give his best every single night. They key is that Michael Jordan used everything to motivate him. There’s a quote that I love from Matshona Dhliwayo where he says, “A seed neither fears light nor darkness, but uses both to grow.”
written by Julie Fournier
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